Chicken Dinner
by THEdragon-of-rainbows
Summary: (A fanfiction based on a wacky headcanon I made a little while back, as to why the main trio eat raw chicken. Whether or not you wanna take it seriously is up to you.) Red's friends have just moved in, and now it's dinner time! Unfortunately, Red didn't think that part through as well as he should have.


Redmond felt he had everything worked out. This lonely little house of his would be lonely no longer, for Mr Gribbleston and Mr and Mrs Robinson had given permission for their respective sons to live in it with him. Red was glad not only for his own sake but for his friends' as well. Poor Crowe had such distant parents, they kept him alive and well but barely showed him the love and companionship such a good child deserved. Donnie's father, was just plain dodgy. Donnie liked him, but he seemed rather shady and his house was a wreck. But now, with the two spare rooms refurnished into bedrooms and extra seats added to the kitchen and living room, just about everything was set. The two younger friends had just moved in earlier that day and had no problem adjusting, seeing as though they had visited plenty of times before. Red rubbed his furry hands together happily as he lumbered into the kitchen, ready to prepare the dinner he wouldn't have to eat alone.

As soon as the refrigerator door swung open, however, Red was faced with an unpleasant realisation. He had forgotten to consider restocking the food for his new roommates! All that was left in the refrigerator was raw meat. Shopping day was tomorrow, so he could easily buy all the fruit, vegetables, candy or whatever was needed, but Red wasn't going to let his friends go hungry that evening.

"Uh, sorry, but it looks like all we have is meat." He announced flatly to the two children, who gave each other perplexed glances in response.

"Well that's not a problem." Crowe spoke in an unfazed manner.

Usually this wouldn't have been a problem, after all, it _was_ edible meat, and neither Donnie nor Crowe were vegetarian as far as Red knew. Unfortunately, Red had put off having the stove and oven repaired for a long time now, since he and his family had no aversion to eating raw meat. Of course, raw meat generally wasn't considered a tasty treat to most people.

"I can't cook it." Red stated, closing the refrigerator door. "I suppose we also have milk, porridge, ice-cream and paprika, but the porridge is expired and there's not much I can do with the rest."

"My dad sometimes lets me eat ice-cream for dinner!" Donnie exclaimed excitedly while pulling pots and pans out of the kitchen cupboard.

"I'm sure he does." Red sighed. "Anyway, I guess we'll just order take-away, then. Crowe, what do you usually eat for dinner?"

"Oh, just regular things, I suppose." Crowe replied with a slight shrug. "Vegetables, cooked meat, insects, arachnids…"

"I eat ice-cream, Lego pieces, glue, people who don't run fast, and candy!" Donnie interrupted cheerfully, wearing a saucepan on his head.

"What?!" Crowe gasped in response to Donnie's strange statement. "You mean you don't regularly sit down to a nice bowl of roast crickets?"

Red stopped and thought for a moment. Would it be so bad to just let them _try_ some raw meat? Their parents would probably be after his severed head if they found out. Well, at least Crowe's parents would. Donnie's father probably wouldn't care.

"I usually eat meat raw." Red began explaining. "Especially now that the stove and oven are broken, it's not like I have had much of a choice lately."

"Well, my mother tells me to keep an open mind." Crowe stated, as if reading Red's thoughts. "Though my father tells me to avoid anything he considers 'uncouth'…"

"Since you'll be living with me and Donnie now, it's not like he ever has to find out…" Red suggested, before immediately being taken aback by his unexpected mischievous streak.

"Ah, I've always craved a little deviation." Crowe admitted with a chuckle. "You know, to do something out of the norm and evade consequences. Say, what meat do you have in that refrigerator?"

Red swung the refrigerator door open and glanced inside.

"Just chicken." He uttered casually.

Red's eyes widened when he realised what he had just said. As if the food situation couldn't have been more awkward! Crowe was most clearly some type of bird, and as far as Red knew that meant eating other birds was a huge no-no. He had been meaning to cut chicken, turkey and other bird meat out of his diet from the day he befriended Crowe, but he had never gotten around to it.

"You know what, never mind, I'm going to order us all some pizza right now." Red declared as he quickly shut the refrigerator door and headed for the telephone without a second thought.

"Oh, I've always wanted to try chicken!" Crowe announced with enthusiasm.

Red stopped in his tracks and turned to face Crowe with a perplexed expression hidden under his long mane of stringy hair.

"We just never seem to eat it." The young bird continued. "I can't imagine why!"

Red scratched at his bearded chin with one hand and tapped his thigh with the other as he began thinking once again. Crowe had essentially given the O-K to finishing off that raw chicken in the refrigerator. But what about Donnie? The young blue-haired boy was down in the living room with his arts 'n' crafts kit, hungrily munching on a crayon. That pretty much said enough.

Red felt rather uneasy as he served up those cold, fleshy chicken pieces onto three individual plates. He had promised Mr and Mrs Robinson and Mr Gribbleston that Crowe and Donnie would be safe and well taken care of with him. It was their first evening living in the house, and there he was, about to feed them raw bird meat. As much as Red enjoyed uncooked dead animals, he wished he had just called up a pizza delivery before he even opened that near-empty refrigerator.

"Dinner's ready…" Redmond called out with a sigh, placing each plate of chicken in front of a seat at the kitchen table.

Donnie and Crowe entered the kitchen moments later, and the three of them sat down at the table together. The children quietly observed their meals as Red watched on nervously. He could see it already, one of them would spit it out in disgust and the other wouldn't dare touch it. They would run to their parents' homes and tell them. Mr and Mrs Robinson would take Crowe away to never be seen again. Even Roy would think he's a freak, and he would leave town with Donnie. Red would be alone again. He was sure he had made a big mistake. Red didn't want to be _alone_ again.

"Oh, that not bad!" Crowe's enthusiastic voice rang from the other end of the table, snapping Red out of his unpleasant visions. "The texture is quite pleasant, I must say."

Red watched Crowe cut a piece of meat off a chicken leg in a rather refined manner, before calmly placing the slimy piece into his open beak. Donnie was holding a chicken leg in his hands and chewing it casually. Both of them were not only eating the raw chicken, but they seemed to be enjoying it, too!

"What's the matter, Red?" Donnie asked between mouthfuls, licking some blood off his lips. "Aren't you hungry?"

Through all his internal fuss, Red had forgotten about his own plate of raw chicken on the table in front of him. With a quiet huff of a laugh, he picked up his knife and fork and began picking the bones clean.

Red was surprised that Donnie and Crowe had taken such a liking to raw chicken, but he was also glad. It could be their little bizarre secret. Red was also glad he wasn't eating dinner alone any more. Even uncooked dead animals felt warmer and more wholesome with loved ones eating them with him.


End file.
